purple hamster

boing!!

i'm happy... for the following reasons

• i gotta dance yesterday. and i'm going to dance tomorrow!
• school's cool. esp when i have tues, weds and half of thursday off until clinics start.
• canoeing rocks your socks.
• you came online and talked. i worry about you back home you know... i'm still just a phone call away, but i now need at least 9 hours (plus check in time) notice, as opposed to 15 mins. =) take care mylove! you'll get over the pain, and he will know what he's lost, one day.
• and you have just made my day by replying. i miss you!

hmmm... what else? oh my room is finally clean, my laundry done, and i've got so much credit at the lan shop, that i actually get to claim free hours. cool woot?

Hickey:Forget kissing!You'd rather give a hickey to your
special someone than just a kiss! You like to
leave your mark on them instead of the two
of you knowing that both of your lips hooked
up! Your more rough and sexy then anything.

Which Sign Of Affection Are You?
brought to you by

long distance relationship is like take-out - it never works out

well...

it's a better day.. it's how you look at it i suppose. school's... hard, but i relish it, i do. i can't wait to do the clinical pracs! the kids need so much, and to love kids means you will never be hurt, because you *expect* them to change. haha

it's also hard to be depressed when it's sunny. altho it's been drizzling, it's never been brighter, both inside and out =)

it's so hard to be a drop when you want to be a star.

35,000. that's how many full-time students there are at UQ. 3 thousand each year are international students, the rest domestic. roughly 10 thousand come for matriculation each year, and then go on to progress through the hallowed halls of UQ, and then come out to be a drop in the oil that greases society's wheel.

maybe it's my fault for being attention seeking, maybe it's that i believe that i'm special. (but then who doesn't?) but somehow home seems so far away, and all the people who love you, non-exsistant. the chaos of getting into the right subjects, the correct tutes, get a good placement, explain for the umpteenth time that no, singapore is not part of china and no we do not eat dogs, and that yes, i am indian, but not from india. it's just... different i guess. i'll get used to it eventually, but i cannot rely on anyone i guess.

this is what it means to be alone.

different from the first time i came over i guess. then i had a sounding board, and i had smaller settings to deal with, maybe greater self worth. now every victory is hard-earned, the thought of making it through the 4 years to earn me the speechies shorts, a horribly long time to be out of my comfort zone.

i will myself to change, to be feral, to be free. i'm here to reach higher then before, and i will.

i'm here to have the time of my life.

and i will. i can't wait, to start school, to start reaching futher, jumping higher, and going beyond everything that i ever thought possible. i can't wait to grab life by the horns and yank it the way i want to go, to be invincible and invulnerable, to laugh, live and love with all that life has given me. i want to dance like no body's watching, if all that i do. as i start school tomorrow, i want to live the life i've always dreamed of, free and independant, and strong and full of love.

and love. it's like an mezmerising oil painting, full of brush strokes and layers that you don't see if you take a step back, but if you look at it again and again, the passage of the brush dances with a joy that cannot be matched. i just want to... thank all of you who have filled my life in singapore with so much love and joy that... without you, i would not have been able to survive my trip home.

you, with your xiaolongbaos and infinite wisdom, have inspired me so much in just about everything that is important in my life right now. your strenght of character and patience is something that juxtaposes so neatly with your love of fun and life, that i cannot help but be inspired a little bit more with every conversation that we have.

you, with your heart-rending struggles to keep him in your life, even while it breaks you, are the reason that i believe in true love. and one day, love, you will be loved, deeper and truer that you ever thought possible. only God knows who will show you that you deserve the best in life, but if it's him, or if it's not, you just need to trust, and hang on till i come home to get drunk with you. =)

and you, a friendship that blossomed by proximity, but you are so easily underestimated, with your quiet ways and profound thoughts. now i know why my mom says it's the quiet ones you've gotta watch. =) and no, i'm not an alcoholic =)

and then there's you. too many unspoken words between us, but at this moment, i think they're better left unsaid. thank you for being my sunshine and my light, my pillar and above all, my friend. through the good times and the bad, you've not only said you'll be there, but you proved it, time and again, and i miss you, heaps. i hope that you'll be happy, and know always, that you are loved deeply. although we may be back where we started, 4 years ago, i think that we've travelled a road longer than words can express, i'm just thankful that i know you'll always be there.

cassanova was a fantastic movie. sweet and sensitive, i can't wait to watch brokeback mountain cuz it promises to be better. as a belated valentine, to all you girls out there, may you find your enduring, love-struck cassanova, and may all you guys out there find a girl who loves, cherishes and adores you as cassanova. =P something for everyone

valentine's was great. you and you and you, you know who you are, i love you so much, for the laughter and the tears and the joys and the sorrows that we shared last night. with the good and the bad (ice wine? port? or minty tasting vodka-lychee-frozenyoghurt?) you guys have... well... laughed and cried with me, bitched and commiserated with me. made me feel loved and taught me why this is still home, even when i'm struggling. you are the reason i will always come back, and your love will keep me the long term ahead.

and you. without knowing it, you made my day special. i've never felt this cherished.

You are the he I could not create, I the she you could not grasp

to be on the outside staring in is a disconcerting experience. =) i've always manage to schmooze my way into many situations (altho it's more difficult to get out of them) but somehow, i now find myself very firmly outside the double doors, and i'm quite happy to be there.

oh, i have to admit, sometimes the sobriety and solemity that used to be me is very... well... tempting. but it didn't do a thing for me, so being footloose and fancy free really suits me down to the ground. i'm tired of being sensible, and sane, because those that i thought it mattered to, don't give a fig (well, they might give a prune, or a date, but definately not a fig) so my new new year's resolutions are slighty more frivolous, and me-geared:

1. dance like no one's watching
2. fall in love with perfection
3. live life to the max, work hard and play harder.
   
4. live my life the way i've always wanted to (assuming that i'll find out what it is this year)
   
5. sing

yeah... i want to feel like a flame, to just burn. to watch the fire of life just consume everything i do

i was at the zoo with anna, and i learnt this astonishing, amazing fact :

haha... i'd like to see you guys try that out for size =) no pun intended =)


oh well... other then that.... Bangkok was amazing! Chaktuchak Weekend Market lived up to it's every promise. we found fried bug (photos of Clarence's feast will be up shortly) and t-shirts that will knock your socks off... Singha beer being the design de norm, altho a very nice *read expensive-er* brand called line-Thai was significantly less then at the infamous MBK. It would take a month of weekends to explore every nook and cranny of that place. anyone up for a trip in July? Salsa and shopping, i swear! The latin clubs beckoned enticingly, but not speaking Thai in a club that borders the Patpong area is a a recipe for trouble if you're a stag girl, imo.

Food, was, yummy! Omg i swear, if i eat any more, you'll only be able to turn me with a pitchfork on Union nights. That said, we ate the best food at a surprisingly posh, inexpensive (not an oxymoron in Bangkok) food court that played Latin music and made me miss home dreadfully. Gawd, i dunno how i'm gonna last in Brissy without dance. And, we visited Ayuthaya (pronounced are-you-tired, don't ask) and the architecture is amazing.


i'm not artist but still... can you spell GORGEOUS? (i can't either)

we saw the ruins, and then to the freakingly crowded and hot grand palace, which put me in touch with all my sec 4 history all over again.

ok... more stuff, and pictures, will come up next update. family crisis, as usual. =) what do they do without me? =)