it's so hard to be a drop when you want to be a star.
35,000. that's how many full-time students there are at UQ. 3 thousand each year are international students, the rest domestic. roughly 10 thousand come for matriculation each year, and then go on to progress through the hallowed halls of UQ, and then come out to be a drop in the oil that greases society's wheel.
maybe it's my fault for being attention seeking, maybe it's that i believe that i'm special. (but then who doesn't?) but somehow home seems so far away, and all the people who love you, non-exsistant. the chaos of getting into the right subjects, the correct tutes, get a good placement, explain for the umpteenth time that no, singapore is not part of china and no we do not eat dogs, and that yes, i am indian, but not from india. it's just... different i guess. i'll get used to it eventually, but i cannot rely on anyone i guess.
this is what it means to be alone.
different from the first time i came over i guess. then i had a sounding board, and i had smaller settings to deal with, maybe greater self worth. now every victory is hard-earned, the thought of making it through the 4 years to earn me the speechies shorts, a horribly long time to be out of my comfort zone.
i will myself to change, to be feral, to be free. i'm here to reach higher then before, and i will.
35,000. that's how many full-time students there are at UQ. 3 thousand each year are international students, the rest domestic. roughly 10 thousand come for matriculation each year, and then go on to progress through the hallowed halls of UQ, and then come out to be a drop in the oil that greases society's wheel.
maybe it's my fault for being attention seeking, maybe it's that i believe that i'm special. (but then who doesn't?) but somehow home seems so far away, and all the people who love you, non-exsistant. the chaos of getting into the right subjects, the correct tutes, get a good placement, explain for the umpteenth time that no, singapore is not part of china and no we do not eat dogs, and that yes, i am indian, but not from india. it's just... different i guess. i'll get used to it eventually, but i cannot rely on anyone i guess.
this is what it means to be alone.
different from the first time i came over i guess. then i had a sounding board, and i had smaller settings to deal with, maybe greater self worth. now every victory is hard-earned, the thought of making it through the 4 years to earn me the speechies shorts, a horribly long time to be out of my comfort zone.
i will myself to change, to be feral, to be free. i'm here to reach higher then before, and i will.
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