Monday, July 25, 2005
i won't be able to post for awhile. too much on in my life, and if you know, you know.
if you don't, some other time.
give me another week, just to be myself again.



i know that i shouldn't want anymore than i have, but i do! i want a little more of him, a little more talk, a little more time. altho i'm the one who's gone, i feel like i'm the one left behind, left out of all the things that happen, all the noise and fun. i feel further and further from people's thoughts, like life goes on for them, but they don't see that they're always with me, everytime i turn around it's them that i see, not those before me.
i wish that i didn't feel this way, didn't want to be a part of everything, didn't crave the attention that i do. but with everyday, i feel like i'm only a memory in the eyes of all that i hold dear, like a distant echoing ghost. i feel dramatic and redundant, just like i din't in the old days, all over again. i want to run and know that there'll be people for me, cuz i know that if they were in my shoes, i'll be for them.