purple hamster

i know that i shouldn't want anymore than i have, but i do! i want a little more of him, a little more talk, a little more time. altho i'm the one who's gone, i feel like i'm the one left behind, left out of all the things that happen, all the noise and fun. i feel further and further from people's thoughts, like life goes on for them, but they don't see that they're always with me, everytime i turn around it's them that i see, not those before me.

i wish that i didn't feel this way, didn't want to be a part of everything, didn't crave the attention that i do. but with everyday, i feel like i'm only a memory in the eyes of all that i hold dear, like a distant echoing ghost. i feel dramatic and redundant, just like i din't in the old days, all over again. i want to run and know that there'll be people for me, cuz i know that if they were in my shoes, i'll be for them.